A lot's been going on since either of us last sat down to write in earnest.
Back at the end of October, a co-workers father passed away, and the entire school staff went to the wake (通夜, or
tsuya, in Japanese). The women from the family were all dressed in black kimonos, the men in suits. All guests wore black dress attire, with black ties mandatory for the men. As guests (around 200, it seemed) arrived, they wrote their names on a register, and handed over a special envelope with about 5,000 yen. In exchange, we were each given a bag with a small gift. I found this part strange.
After entering, my co-worker (the very nice woman who teaches the 2nd grade), saw us and thanked us all for coming, and told us to have a seat in an adjoining hall and drink tea while we waited. As we sat and sipped green tea the vice principal kept explaining to me that this was a wonderful opportunity to observe Japanese culture. I didn't really know the appropriate way to respond, in any language.
When the ceremony was ready to begin we were escorted to the main hall. At the front of the hall was a giant shrine to the deceased, easily 15 feet wide and 8 feet tall. It was made of very carefully cut bamboo poles, and adorned with what must have been thousands of dollars worth of flowers, and a giant (better than life-size, perhaps 30-40cm tall) photograph. The family was seated in rows perpendicular to the shrine, and facing one another. Other guests were further back in the hall, in rows facing the shrine. Several altars, each with several pots of burning incense, were also in the hall.
The ceremony began with a priest chanting and marching into the room. He spoke briefly, reading the name of the departed, along with his age and the names of his family members. There was more, but I couldn't catch it all. After that there were about 10 minutes of incantations, after which the oldest living male relative stood, bowed deeply towards the assembled guests, then turned and bowed even more deeply towards the shrine. After bowing, he annointed himself twice with dust from the burned incense and prayed before sitting. The rest of the family repeated this process in pairs. Guests, myself included, then went in groups of four. For us, three bows were required; one each to family seated on the right and left sides of the room, and then a deep bow to the shrine at the center.
Our group was seated near the back of the hall, so shortly after we prayed at the altar, the priest spoke again thanking everyone, and announcing that the family would then be commencing the
tsuya (the word can translate as either wake or vigil - I found out it really is both). In Japanese, the characters for
tsuya mean "through the night", and they apparently take it literally. From the time everyone has finished praying, to the private funeral ceremony the next day at noon, at least one family member watches over the shrine at all times. As the family began that process, our group was escorted to the same room where we'd earlier taken tea, where we were fed.
Here the ceremony really did resemble an Irish wake. There were old men eating sushi and getting drunk while talking very loudly. Family members circulated throughout the crowd thanking everyone for coming, and filling our glasses. We stayed for about an hour before the principal told everyone it was time to go. We all left as a group, paying our respects to the family one more time on our way out.
The 2nd grade teacher took a week off from work afterwards, which seems pretty standard. The principal wrote a letter to the parents explaining the situation, and other teachers (including the principal and vice principal) at the school filled in when they could. I've noticed that we don't really have substitutes like districts at home do.
Anyway, I don't know if my descriptions did any of this justice, but it was a strange, sombering experience.
We enjoyed this dish very much in Shanghai, but I've had trouble finding a recipe.
